Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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