All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
