is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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