great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
