if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
