Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
