i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
