she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Randomize
