Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
