I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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