i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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