apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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