god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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