I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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