I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
