I'm so fucking centered right now
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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