We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
