and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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