You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
