ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Randomize
