just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
