I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
that's an acceptable place to lick
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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