it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
