I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I am spending my child support on dildos
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
nutella sex= disaster
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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