I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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