i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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