If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
