North Korea, Best Korea!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
