dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Randomize
