Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
