the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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