Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
