At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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