Got a toothbrush?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
