he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
