guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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