The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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