Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
