i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
