Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
