I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
