it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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