...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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