just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
