Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
