Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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