I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
