All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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