He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
