If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i believe in u and ur pee
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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